A MESSAGE TO SINGLE MOMS

A short story from one single mom to another…

I remember staring in the mirror one day, and I began thinking about life and how I wanted my future to look. I saw myself, a few kids, and a man standing right beside me. Just as I began dreaming of that future, reality hit. As I stood in the mirror, I only saw myself. It had been so long since I just stopped and stared at myself. I almost didn’t recognize me. Hundreds of thoughts began bombarding my head. I began panicking because I realized that I was dreaming. There was a void there and I didn’t know how to fill it. I didn’t know how to look at ME and realize I was enough. I wanted to look at myself and be happy. I wanted to look at myself and know that I could achieve anything that I set my mind to. I wanted to be happy with the reflection in the mirror. Then one day, I came across a woman, whose story provided me with all the courage I needed to believe that I was enough. This is her story…

I met a phenomenal woman 8 years ago. She had just given birth to her first child. She was only 19 years old. She had just graduated high school and was in her freshman year of college. She did not know what obstacles were ahead of her. She was scared and afraid of the future; Not because she had just become a mother, but because she realized she was going to be a single -mother. She had no college degree yet. No job. No future goals for herself- or her family. She was lost. One day while looking in her daughter’s eyes, she felt an internal yearning that is still, today, indescribable. As she dazed in her eyes she saw the reflection of herself. Despite her current circumstance, she saw greatness. Just as she began staring further at herself, a huge smile came across her baby’s face. At that time, her child gave her all the hope she needed to be strong in this journey, even though she would be walking the journey alone. Even today, a single mother of 2, she is still walking that journey alone. Somewhere along the way, she discovered that she was enough. She discovered that the gifts God gave her were to save her. Her children became her hope and her future. They motivated her to become a better her, and eventually, her reflection in their eyes became her inspiration.

My reflection in their eyes is still my inspiration…. That woman was me. I met MYSELF 8 years ago.

I was the woman looking in the mirror lost and confused. I was also the woman who found grace in her child’s eyes. I found myself through the eyes of my first born. As each day go by, I learn more of the Woman I am through the love of my children. My children give me the strength to face every obstacle I encounter. If it wasn’t for them, I’d still be that lost girl staring in the mirror with just the reflection of herself. Now today, I stare at the mirror with 2 additional sets of eyes staring back at me. Now, my reflection is enough, because I realize my children helped me redefine what being whole means. Being a single mother does not mean that there is a void or an absence. It means that where ordinary laid, now rests EXTRAORDINARY.

Where passion laid, now rests PURPOSE.

To all my single moms, please know that you are more than enough. Your strength increased with the birth of your child(ren). You are capable of achieving everything you set your mind to do. You have the power to make a difference in lives of your children each day you wake up to grace the earth with another day of life. I encourage you to be strong in your pursuit. Be courageous in your journey. Be brave in this walk.

“For when you look in the mirror, let your presence fill any void that ever existed. For YOU are enough and don’t you ever forget it.”

 -J.D. Merrill-